`weekiat*
`geraldine*
`huixian*
`virginia*
`erina*
'royston*
`benjamin*
`jasmine*
`jenny jie*
`val jiejie*
`tiffany*
`melody*
`iris*
`rachel*
'yuen leng*
'geraldine11*
'joel*
'sherry*
'terry*
`huikoon*
`tasneem*
`jocelyn*
`khinewa*
`sherman*
`sheryl*
`thiamkee*
`justin*
`bernard*
`kevin.caleb*
`tingzhang*
`inez*
`xiangting*
`luther*
`genevis*

ren. reN. rEN. REN!!! i must perserve!! i can't give up halfway. i'm feeling very pissed.

haix. i have said, i wont have an easy time at camp. intensive training. however it was not because i cant stand the long hours of practises, it was because of someone just pissed me off...i just cant stand the way you.....i dunnoe how to put this into words la.

everything was going quite smoothly until some things got quite out of hand. hmmm, actually it is happening..has and had happened before. but i just tolerated with it. ok i dunnoe what i am talking about la...

anyway...just wan to say, there is a limit to everyone's patience and tolerance...dun stretch my limits. in someway, i have been giving in to you, like...alot of stuffs have to see yr mood that day. sometimes it is good...sometimes...i will be like thinking what and how to talk to you. it is very difficult. constrait. i have to think of the correct stuffs to talk... then sometimes you will answer in a manner...which i think it is very fu yan and...sort of like DUH!!! needless to say right? but i was just trying to start a conversation.

hmmm...i m ok with this la. teasing. it is all right to tease me alittle. i dont mind. but not too much...till the extent i hate it. till the extent i feel that i am worth nothing to you. it seemed that...you were having a great time when teasing me..and announcing it to the whole world. eg " wah lao...look at michelle...dont u think she....lalalalalalaa'' thankyou for that arh. as in...how to phrase it....oh nvm...it is over. and some pple asked how i can stand it. xi guan jiu hao la.

this is not all la. i know i'm not a fantastic player or what. i know that. but at least i made the effort to practise like every non-band days? if i make mistakes while playing..just tell me la. as in...so i can learn and correct it before syf right? i dun like it *if this were to ever happen* when secretly behind my back you talk bad abt me. anyway...i felt that it was kinda insulting when you said " erm this part, i wanna tell you long ago but..." excuse me...you can jolly well correct me anytime..but when u said this..it...made me feel like i am really lousy at everything. whatever. oh ya before i forget, if at some parts, wanna cut players...just say. ask for volunteers..then when pple volunteered, u say things like " nono..u play..i'm not referring to you, who else wanna volunteer to cut that part". if not referring to ...then it will refer to me and...ya...just think about it. cant stand it anymore. it has been so stressful.....

after hearing that...i was very pissed i vowed (what a strong word to use) to practice much harder...so u wont find anything to pick on me. get it? i'm serious. and...ya...you seemed quite fake. bleah. i dunnoe la. i just...maybe...the problematic one is me. ya..nvm..forget it....hope everything will be fine, or rather..hope all the running notes will be played neatly.

`scribbled at-
Sunday, April 10, 2005