`weekiat*
`geraldine*
`huixian*
`virginia*
`erina*
'royston*
`benjamin*
`jasmine*
`jenny jie*
`val jiejie*
`tiffany*
`melody*
`iris*
`rachel*
'yuen leng*
'geraldine11*
'joel*
'sherry*
'terry*
`huikoon*
`tasneem*
`jocelyn*
`khinewa*
`sherman*
`sheryl*
`thiamkee*
`justin*
`bernard*
`kevin.caleb*
`tingzhang*
`inez*
`xiangting*
`luther*
`genevis*

prelims are finally over bah, but i am not too happy abt it. as in... the feeling of excitement that a ''major'' haul of exams are over is not there anymore. i dun feel it ever since i come tj. i feel more of regretful-ness and... alot of shit. why like that?

ya.. i know. if there were so many regrets, why did i study harder in the first place right? ha. nvm.. shall not say anything... i think, only i know... how much and hard i studied la. it's all right. anyway... what a thing to say, but i am really ''used'' to failing.

really leh. I AM NOT LIKE THIS BEFORE!!!!!!!! i was never like that, so pessimistic abt studies and stuffs. yar, in the past. i used to tell pple.. dun be sad... work harder. now i know.. it is not tat simple.. never easy.

action speaks louder than words. but i am not putting in empty promises. i tried so many times. failed. picked myself up again, just in time to know that i will fall and fail once more in my life. is there a limit to how many failures u will meet in yr life?

if there is... i hope i have reached my limits.. and that the later part of my life will be sweet journey. haiya. really la. but u guys wont know exactly how i feel. it suck.

looking at yr frens comparing answers.. and so many "yeah!!!!!" "YES!!!" "yaarrr... i also do like thatttt.." i.... dun get me wrong. i feel happy for them when they get good grades... because they are good. but then i will hit myself hard on the face, questioning myself.. "why? why michelle??? why cant u be like them???"

maybe. the principal will think i am HOPELESS. really. she should give up on me. ha. u guys wont know, how MUCH i wanna do well... and prove to myself and everyone.i really want to see me myself passing those exams... even reaching the E grade is really worth being happy. but i cant. i might even fare worse than any other exams.

haha. yar. maybe i deserve it huh? haha. i dun think so. i should deserve better. really. i cant stand all this nonsense. it is pissing me off. WHY WHY WHY?

again, i will let my ma down. sorry. ya..i know.. still have another chance right? a levels huh? 'woah!' so easy sia!! what will yr confidence level be like.. when u have been failing your examinations? i dun even wanna think of nus. it is so shameful.

i shouldnt drown myself in self-pity huh? hope to see the day, when i will be HAPPY CONTENTED RELIEVED.....after getting back results... i hope that day will be A levels result day... the day that i feel that.. all my efforts studying and crying will be worth it. i hope everything will be worth it.

i wanna see the day. maybe consistent work is true. look at band. we can get and achieve what we wanted.. because of SHEER HARD WORK and DETERMINATION throughout the whole process. no giving up. no complaining. no slacking. every prac.. is play play play. go thru those hard parts over and over again. even yr mouth become lan from over-playing... just continue and continue... getting scolded.. nevermind.. just try and try... cant hold that bar? hold long notes for at least 20 sec.

i wanna get my studies back on tracks. on those same very tracks like in sec 2. i remembered... i work super hard to get into triple sci. and i did just tat. i should start work soon.

i will.

`scribbled at-
Wednesday, September 21, 2005