Friday, December 30, 2005
the awakening..haha okies dun sue me for copyright thingy. anyway i woke up from my timid hideous shell... i wan to live for myself.. not for my parents, not for my sis nor bro. i wan to be the michelle who has no qualms and no restrictions to hold me back from doing what i really love... man.. i sound rebellious. i dun wan to live under anyone's shadow...one of my frens said i m still living under my sis' shadow. HELLO??? when?? u tell me when la. i hate it when pple say that. yes it is true that my sis was in band and stuffs like that.. but whatever i have achieved is based on my own merits mind you... ok so i asked u... so what can u say since i am in tj.. whatever la.. i was kinda affected by yr comments.. not because it had hit a raw vein.. i was so digusted tat u had actually that tot on yr mind...in any case.. i just hope to do things i love in future la. i wan to be more daring. more adventurous. more open-minded. a boarder mind and heart. recently the reality hit me... we are really going to live ONCE. and u determine yr own life. everything is in yr own hands. i really do regret not studying extra extra extra harder for my A. i hope, that'll be my one and only regret in my life...i wan my life to be chong shi. not only i wan to be happy everyday, i also wan to experience and learn something new everyday! i wan more wisdom!!!! ya.. so as we were going to live once... i wanna try out almost everything but excluding those illegal stuffs.. plus things i really dislike for eg : smoking, tatoo-ing blah blah...maybe in office.. everyone is influencing me...in the good way. how do i phase it... i think i will become more mature and independent, in terms of actions and mindset... yep.. they also asked me to chase for my dreams...oh ya.. i wanna change my image... i think i am having this guai shu nu image... but actually i have a rebellious michelle inside me.. waiting to be unleash.. i aint kidding. i think i wanna be a tough, those not easily be bullied kind. moreover i dun like when pple treat me as a kid..i have a tough side one ok... being demure and shu nu is total out of qns for me. i have a thinking.. which is what guys can do.. i also can do it.... i m not a weakling woman.. and yes.. i wanna impress the guys... maybe by doing my work well, being able to drive earlier than them (whahaha!) and perhaps can hold my liquor better than them. oh ya btw, being red-faced after u drink is perfectly normal... it means yr blood circulation is good.. and not because u are drunk! oh yes.. i am dying for a drink... perhaps someone could pass me volka ribena, volka sprite or a tequila please...
`scribbled at-
Friday, December 30, 2005